Jedi_Learner wrote:Page 21:
- Type: Awkward Sentence
Switches most always do something. They may open a gate or disable a trap, among other things.
Suggestion: "Almost every switch you come across does something. Using a switch may open a gate or disable a trap, among other things."
I'll just note that there is no switch that I've ever come across, in either Book I or Book II, that has actually disabled a trap. I'm not saying it can't happen, or that it wouldn't be a cool idea - just that it
hasn't happened yet!
Jedi_Learner wrote:Page 22:
- Type: Awkward Section
I believe the section entitled "Picking Locks & Disarming Traps" is missing pieces of information and should be re-written to be more direct. Example below.
...Your success in picking locks depends greatly on your character's Pick Locks Skill, as well as your Dexterity and Concentration attributes.
...Your disarming ability depends on your character's Skullduggery Skill, as well as your Dexterity and Concentration attributes...
In fact,
only Dexterity compliments Pick Locks, and
only Concentration complements Skullduggery.
Jedi_Learner wrote:Page 22:
- Type: Grammar Mistakes
There are other methods as well, such as drinking Healing Elixir, or casting a healing spell .
"There are other methods as well, such as drinking an Healing Elixir, or casting a healing spell."
In fact, it should be "...
a Healing Elixir" - "H" is a consonant, and it's only "silent" in some weird East Coast states!...
Jedi_Learner wrote:Page 22:
- Type: Sentence Suggestion
If you allow either of the bars to get all the way empty you will begin to see negative effects on your character.
"If you allow either of the bars to empty you will begin to see negative effects on your character."
I prefer BW's version to yours, though perhaps it might be best if it read:
"If you allow either of the bars to get all the way
to zero, you will begin to see negative effects on your character."
Most of these were good catches though!